I Wish We’d Stop Calling It “Addiction”

According to the Mirriam Webster Dictionary, addiction is this:

That reminds me of a 1960’s idea of “addiction”—right out of Dragnet, complete with a lecture from Jack Webb. It’s old thinking about why people participate in addictions.

I would much prefer to call these actions “unhealthy copying behaviors.” If you want a better idea of why people turn to those coping behaviors, watch Johann Hari’s Ted Talk “Everything You Think You Know About Addiction is Wrong.” The summary of the talk is that people with rich connections to family and friends—people that are living a happy and meaningful life, don’t feel any need to use unhealthy coping behaviors. So, this idea of habit-forming substances or behaviors propagating themselves is pretty weak. People don’t get on the treadmill of bad coping behaviors because they want more and more. They get on that treadmill because there are things in their life that they can’t endure. Emotional wounds that may have occurred decades ago. Today when those unhealed wounds show up again, the person uses whatever they’ve chosen as their coping strategy to forget about that pain. Gabor Maté, a well known therapist in addiction circles, says in a recent book: “Dont’ ask why the addiction. Ask why the pain.”

So, next time you hear about someone who’s engaging in coping behaviors that you can’t imagine doing, remember that they’re probably wounded and trying to medicate their pain. They’re not some weak-minded junkie that can’t stop. They’ve chosen a coping behavior that’s strong enough to mask their pain. Don’t give them a lecture. Try giving them a big hug instead.